Memories

Beautiful tribute to a truly beautiful man.

Jonathan Miller

John, I will dearly miss your sweet spirit and positive vibe that you brought to the many tutor training presentations that we did over the years. Your love for the children and your belief in the validity of the tutoring program shined out in your many presentations in the media. Thank you for the years we shared doing a job we both loved.

Rest in peace, dear friend.
With love and admiration,

JoAnne Boncher

John and I stayed friends for over 40 years. He was always a constant in my life, and I was just so sad to hear that he passed away. This kind man with whom I enjoyed so many laughs so many good times, many interesting conversations, who did so much good in his life will be sorely missed and will forever be in my heart.

To Ulla, I would like to give sincere thanks for making this wonderful memorial site. Helle writing to you from Berlin.

Helle Herzog
Germany

John was a really straight ahead type of guy, friendly to everyone, he spoke good sense and told me great stories about representing my photographer hero, Helmut Newton.

Love
Mike Berkofsky

Shakespeare wrote this in “Cymbeline”, I think it works for you, too, John.
And you’d have liked the joke in the last line.

“Fear no more the heat of the sun
Nor the furious winter’s rages.
Thou thy worldly task hast done,
Home art gone and ta’en thy wages.
Golden lads and lasses all must,
As chimney sweepers, come to dust.”

Ken Corfield

John and I met in the mid-60’s in San Francisco and stayed in touch since.
He taught me to ride horses on an English saddle and we enjoyed sharing books and poetry.

In Memory of his gentle, generous and inspiring personality – may I add a German Poem by Hermann Hesse – also in a transcribed version – although much of the inherent beauty cannot easily be conveyed in another language.

With sincere greetings from Munich, Germany,
Margot Bohl

Hermann Hesse – Stufen (Steps)

As every blossom fades
and all youth sinks into old age,
so every life’s design, each flower of wisdom,
attains its prime and cannot last forever.
The heart must submit itself courageously
to life’s call without a hint of grief,
A magic dwells in each beginning,
protecting us, telling us how to live.

High purposed we shall traverse realm on realm,
cleaving to none as to a home,
the world of spirit wishes not to fetter us
but raise us higher, step by step.
Scarce in some safe accustomed sphere of life
have we establish a house, then we grow lax;
only he who is ready to journey forth
can throw old habits off.

Maybe death’s hour too will send us out new-born
towards undreamed-lands,
maybe life’s call to us will never find an end
Courage my heart, take leave and fare thee well.

Wow! I am so amazed reading about John’s background and younger years from the home page. He has indeed lived life well and to the fullest. He was hiliarious when he told the Union Tribune’s reporter that he did not get much accolades when he was a student in school, except when he was once voted as the Class Flirt! LOL! 🙂 I celebrate John’s life and legacy that he had left behind with the younger generation.

I am a third grade teacher at Foster Elementary, SDUSD. I met John through his cold calling I believe. He was a very persuasive British chap as he explained to me the purpose of Oasis Tutoring. As a result, several years later and many students later, I still have the Oasis Tutors coming and continuing to impact the lives of these precious children. Even during the pandemic when the whole world was in a shut down mode, the Oasis Tutors continued to meet with their students via ZOOM and reading books online.

A great big heartfelt thank you and appreciation to John, a very visionary guy and voracious reader. To John’s Family, you have raised such a fine gentleman; the World is a better place because of John. May God bless his legacy and carry on his vision to the young people of today. I am humbled.

Linda Lee

I wanted to wait a few days before responding to this sad but also expected news. It gave time to feel the immediate pain of the loss of a dear friend and wonderful English gentleman…a word that perhaps captured John better than any other man I have ever known…a gentle man!

It also allowed time to reflect on the many memories we shared over 30 years of friendship, including but not limited to a day at the cricket in Hampshire. A glorious English summer day when we talked our way into the Members Dining Room, enjoyed an epicurean delight of prawn cocktail, roast beef & Yorkshire pud (not Derbyshire :)), Eton mess and some fine claret. We then blagged our way to tea on the balcony where the England players sat. One of the most memorable sporting days of my life and there was no-one on this planet better than John to share it with.

We also shared weekly email exchanges about the football results. John’s love of Derby County entered my psyche and they are now a team I wish the best for despite being a rabid Chelsea fan.

As has been mentioned already, John’s commitment to read 50 books, watch 50 films and climb/hike 50 days a year made him a cultural icon. The latter almost killed me, literally, as one weekend John took me hiking in the Santa Monica mountains after I had foolishly drunk too much the night before and was hung over. We lost the trail and I became so seriously dehydrated I could not take on liquids and lay down to pass out. John’s good karma paid dividends as the first people he came upon as he rushed down the trail to get help were Doctors! They said if John had not found them, I would have been in serious trouble.

All who shared John’s space benefitted from his spirit and his good nature.

Ulla-Maija, he was blessed to have you and Marilyn by his bedside throughout his final days on this astral plane.

I am very sorry, confused or rather shattered. I liked John a lot, he was an incredible, very unique human being of great knowledge, passion and love. I cherish his friendship and do regret not to have been more in touch in last few years. Having left the US created more distance. I am once again reminded that death is inevitable.

Hans Pfleiderer
Switzerland

I only met John several years ago when I joined the Oasis Intergenerational Tutor Program. He was so informative, enthusiastic and always available. It was so amazing to learn about his incredible life in this beautiful tribute. We meet so many people over the years and yet don’t always know what a rich life they have led. He will be missed.

Tina Rifkin

I knew John through the Oasis tutoring program. He was very dedicated to this project and was great at calling me to advise changes in the orientation program. He will be missed by many of the tutors for his care and professionalism. My deepest sympathy to his family and friends.

Marilyn Kogen

This memorial is a beautiful testament to a fine, caring man whose life was simply profound. Thank you for posting the lovely tribute. We all miss John.
Jai Guru,
Mark Skok

Thanks for doing this; I really enjoyed learning about John’s life.  I used to see John and Patrick hiking when I was riding my mountain bike at Daley Ranch, but I never dreamed that John had been such a buff outdoorsman. A really cool guy to be sure — thanks again.

Steve Walsh

It was John who I met at a very big Oasis meeting many years ago. He told me about the intergenerational tutoring. He was such a kind intelligent and spirited Person. I came to his oasis Tutor Meetings in Escondido whenever there was a meeting. I brought him my homemade Jams which he enjoyed very much. I truly miss John. A big thank you to Ulla -Maija for that beautiful Song.

Ute Karin Edney

It is my great privilege and blessings to know John as my dear friend when I moved near the SRF Hidden Valley Ashram nearly 12 years ago.
We will walk and talk and be in touch all these years. John will always attend my health classes at Oasis.  I also became a tutor at Oasis because  of John and enjoyed it.
I miss my dear friend, John!

Ravi B Sahay

I met John through a mutual friend, named, Mick Dempsey. Mick was from Derby, like John, but they didn’t know each other growing up. Mick and I climbed together in Joshua Tree in February, 1997. As I completed my visit in March, Mick told me he had a friend in NYC who was looking for a climbing partner. He connected me with John who was working for Warner Films and living in a comfortable flat in the Meat Packing District on Horatio Street. We met and decided to form a rope team sharing weekly climbs that season in the Gunks. John’s stated annual goal was to spend 50 days climbing, to read 50 books and to screen 50 films. That was the beginning of a twenty-five year friendship.

John was such an inspiration. His creativity, passion, and devotion to his work was infectious. I was lucky to have been able to learn from him. He will be missed.

Kirsten Amicone

I worked as a volunteer Oasis reading tutor with John for the last nine years. He was a great mentor and shared his love of reading by encouraging and supporting many, many tutors who, in turn, have helped countless students develop their skills and love of reading! I will miss John! Thank you for sharing so many wonderful memories and life stories!

Donna Cancel

I appreciated John as an Oasis tutor who benefited from his generous and patient service on behalf of kids in our community. It is a gift to learn more about his impressive and well-lived life, especially his spiritual practice. Though I have no information about John nor special memories to share publicly, I want to express my condolences to all who knew him well and will miss his presence most deeply.

Lu Rehling

I knew John when he was in Paris and represented famous photographers as Helmut Newton for whom he arranged an exhibition in my gallery at the time.
John was a nice, discret and elegant fellow and we met many times at home or at Mike and Tina’s.
Last time I talked to John, he called me about 3 to 4 years ago to give me some news and I’m sorry to learn that he passed away.

Christian Cheneau
Santa Fe, New Mexico

I have many memories of John, including first meeting him in San Francisco in the early 70’s and then in Paris in 1974 at a little gathering at 112 Blvd St. Germain, where I also met Michael Japp and French friends to be.  John was Helmut Newton’s agent in Paris and he introduced me to Helmut in 1984 who I worked with on his Private Property portfolio that we launched in 1985.

John was a bright, caring, dear man. This marks another loss of our original Paris-based amigos.

Norman Solomon

I befriended John at the Escondido Meditation Center a year before his passing on.  We enjoyed each other’s company and sharing our love of poetry.  He was physically struggling at this time but always outgoing and cheerful.  Here is the poem that we last shared with each other that John especially loved:

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.
In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody but unbowed.
Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.
It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

~ Invictus, by William Ernest Henley.

You are ever in my prayers John.
And thank you Ulla-Maija for this wonderful memorial you have created in honor of John.

Rodney Lewis

Such a wonderful, loving tribute honoring John and his very interesting and exciting life. I so loved his storytelling about his life prior to his work at Oasis in Escondido. Thank you so much for creating and sharing this memorial so that everyone that worked with John here for Oasis can know, understand, and appreciate his friendship more deeply.

Mary Lee Poremba
Friend and tutor

John, R.I.P.  I am saddened to read of John’s passing. My name is Ken Corfield. I knew John from his time in new york when we’d watch the football together on Saturday mornings at an Irish pub. We kept in touch via e-mail after he went back to California. I had hoped I would see him again in this life but I know he lived a good one. He was many things in his life yet was modest and gentle with it, and firm in his principles. Among his passions was his love of Derby County F.C. so i will try to get on their supporters’ forum to tell people that he has left us.

Ken Corfield

 John began his work with San Diego OASIS as a reading tutor in the Escondido School District. At the end of his first year of tutoring, the teacher he worked with told him that his little student, Jose’, was now speaking English with a British accent.

Jane Radatz

That is a wonderful and very touching memorial to John. Six years ago I moved away from the West coast but we remained in touch. Although I suspected why I did not hear from this loyal friend anymore, I thank you for including me because this will give me closure. But it hurts…. He was very dear to me. I will try to gather my thoughts and memories and add to the memorial website.

A strange anecdote just occurred to me. But for those of us who knew and loved him it would seem very much in character so I’ll mention it here. On one of our hikes on Daley Ranch in Escondido I was behind him on a single trail and we were having a conversation, or so I thought. Encouraged by his silence I kept on talking. He suddenly stopped, turned around and yelled, Marijke, you are boring me! It did not take long for me to recover. After all, he was right and he was John.

Marijke deWeers
Harrisburg PA

Beautiful! Thank you.

Steve & Rudelphina Wilkinson